The Hogwarts Talent Show!
by Chaser
Summary: This has been done so many times, It's not even funny! But I had to have a go! So, flame, review anything! Just please review! I just hope this will be a little funny!


                              Hogwarts Talent Show__

A/N: I know, you're like "Hoo… Wow, like this hasn't been done before!" Well tough! I haven't done one, and I wanna. BWA HA HA HA!! I own nothing!!! BTW this is totally random, so flame only if you feel it's neccisary. 

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*All appear in an auditorium (By 'all' I mean anyone I can think of)

Harry:…. What are we doing in this place?

Minerva: Shh… quiet Potter!

Harry: *timidly* Why? 

Minerva: BECAUSE I SAID SO!

Harry: *gulp*

Ron: Keep your frilly knickers on!

Minerva: WEAS—

*BIG BOOM*

*Chaser (me duh….) appears on stage in big cloud of purple smoke*

Chaser: BWA HA HA!!! YOU ARE ALL MY PLAY THINGS!

Hermione: Er… *twirls finger at side of head* Psycho…

Cho: Um… Who ARE you?

Harry: *melts* yeeaahh….

Ron: uh… Yeah! Yeah? Yeah!

Minerva:….

Chaser: *gasps* Cho Chang!!

Cho: *blushes* Yeah, it's me…

Chaser: DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!

Cho: *explodes*

Harry: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *lunges madly at moi*

Chaser: *holds hand out* Stop.

Harry: *freezes in midair*

Chaser: *under quailing look of everybody* Good! Guess what?!

All:……

Chaser: GUESS!!!!!

All:… What?….

Chaser: We're gonna have a talent show!!! YAY!!!!!!!! *smiles similar to Mihoshi* (Mihoshi is from Tenchi Muyo *sigh*)

All: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! *Harry's still frozen, but he just looks at me helplessly*

Chaser: Oh yeah… Sorry Harry… *waves at him*

Harry: *Face meets ground* Owwwie….

Chaser: Hermione? You first! *grins wickedly*

Hermione: No!

Chaser: Yes!

Hermione: No!

Chaser: Yes infinity! Ha! Go!

Hermione: No infinity two! Ha, make Harry go first!

Chaser: Aww… shoot. Hit the stage, Harry.

Harry: But I don't wanna!

Draco: _But I don't wanna!_ Honestly, He's such a baby! I'LL go first!

Chaser: *googly eyes* OOOOKAAAAAAAY! *grins wickedly*

Draco: *pouts* Don't do that! It scares me!

Chaser: *raises eyebrow* I'll scare you!

Suddenly, when Draco is walking up to the stage, he is tight leather pants.

Draco: AAAAAAUGH!!!!!!!!!!! NO No No!!!

Chaser: Yes yes yes! And you'll perform in them too!

Draco: Fine… Just to show you all that I can, I will! Now what do I have to do?

Chaser: Sing

Draco: What?

Chaser: A song.

Draco: What song?

Chaser: This Kiss

Draco: By Faith Hill?

Chaser: Yup.

Draco: NOO!!

Pansy: *blinks trying to bat eyelashes* For me Drakie? Hmm?

Draco: NOO!!

Hermione: *flutters eyelashes beautifully* For me, Draco?

Draco: Well… Okay!

Draco: *takes deep breath* _I don't want another heart break_

_I don't need another turn to cry_…

 *later*

This kiss 

_This kiss_

_It's criminal_

_This kiss _

_This kiss_

Draco: *let's out long whoosh of air* Phew… I'm done! Hermione: Oh it was beautiful, Draco! 

Hermione leaps up stage and kisses Draco.

Draco: *after kiss* Can you give me new pants now?

Draco's pants loosen, but they're still leather

Draco: better than nothing…

Chaser: You Hermione!!!! *quails under harsh look* Y-You can introduce our next singer!

Hermione: *all smiles* Let's *hic* have *hic* Dippy Minerva!!! *hic*

Ginny: I think she had to much butterbeer…

Snape: Dippy Minerva *sweat drop* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Minerva: GRR!!!!!!!

Minerva tackles Snape to the ground and tries to strangle him. Snape laughs the entire time.

Snape: HAHAHAHA!!!!!! DIPPY MINERVA!!!!!!

Minerva: GRR!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M PERFORMING NEXT! And I'm making up my own song!!!!

Chaser: *hides with everyone else* Ok…

Minerva: _There once was a boy, and his name was Snape,_

_He got caught on video eating a snake,_

_Now he's all dumb cause I throttled him to death,_

_And dung is the smell of his breath!_

Snape: I can't take this! __

_There once was a girl, and her name was Minerva_

_She's a freak, we call her Dumb-Erva_

_And now she smells of dragons breathe_

_ because she tried to throttle me to death!_

Everyone gasps… 

Snape: I'm

Minerva: I'm

Snape and Minerva: Sorry…

Snape and Minerva kiss, and disappear. Everyone stares wide eyed.

All: Woooooooooowie…

Remus Lupin: _If I go crazy,_

_Then will you still call me superman, _

_If I'm alive and well, _

_Will you be there holding my hand?_

Chaser: Wow… I didn't even know you were here, Remus.

Remus: You should've. After all, you are the author.

Chaser: Oh yeah…

Remus: Riiiiight…

All: Yeah…

Remus disappears.

Pansy: He left, why can't we?

Chaser: Because I like Remus. He isn't bratty, so I decided to let him go.

Pansy: No fair!

Chaser: Shut up pug faced brat!

Pansy: Shut up… person!

Ron: Aww… Keep your frilly knickers on, will ya!?

Harry and Hermione: Once is enough and funny. Especially with McGonnagall. But twice with Pansy is dumb…. Sorry.

Ron: Fine! Keep your poopy knickers on!

Pansy blushes madly while everyone roars with laughter.

Pansy: Is it that obvious?

Everyone roars with laughter, and is rolling on the ground gasping for air. Ron is laughing the hardest.

Chaser: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pansy disappears.

All: Hey, why'd ya do that?

Chaser: Because I can. That's why.

All: Oh……

Chaser: Hermione will you please go next? PWEEZE?!

Hermione: All's ya had to do was ask nicely!

She walks up and stands with her back on the audience.

Hermione: *turns her head towards the audience* 

Get your freak on 

_Get your freak on_

_Get your freak on_

_Get your freak on_

Lavender in the background: _Get your fuh-REAK on…_

All: Cool!

Hermione finishes the song, and beams.

Chaser: Okay the talent show is finished.

All: Just like that?

Chaser: Yup. All I wanted was to hear Hermione sing a bad girl song!

All: *gasps* WHY WE OUTTA—!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone tackles Chaser as she tries to run out of a magically appearing door. Then everyone starts beating the crap out of her.

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Chaser's House

Mom: What happened to you?!

Chaser: *Owwie… * I got in a fight…

Mom: But your bruised all over!

Chaser: There lotsa peoples out to get me…

Mom: Oh my! I think I should go to the school!

Chaser: They weren't from my school. They was a bunch of British people, and they left right after nearly killing me.

Mom: Oh… Well, I'm sure you deserved it! 

Mom whips Chaser with a wet towel as she walks by

Chaser: OW!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The End. You probably all want to flame. I understand. But I had fun writing this, so… Wasn't this just the tinniest bit funny?

All: No

Chaser: Oh… Please review! Flame, anything! Please review!!!!!


End file.
